SABG is sitting in his office throwing some imported Columbian coal on to a roaring fire when his assistant manager and renewable energy adviser Arthur Scargill walks in:
SABG stands knee deep in snow on the training field watching his players making snow angels and write their names in the snow when his temporary co-manager and interior designer Laurence Llewelyn Bowen approaches from stage left;
As acting manager of Reading FC, it is with much regret that we announce the departure of our co-manager.
Can I just take a moment to acknowledge all the hard work he put in to making my life a lot easier. And can I also take this opportunity to deny the rumours that he and I could not see eye-to-eye. There is no truth in the fact that we didn’t really get to know one another at all.
All the best for the future, Terry McDermott.
- Date: Feb 13th 2013
- Time: 09.30
- Place: Reading FC
- Location: SABG’s Office (aka The Nerd Centre)
SABG is sitting behind his desk and wiping lemon juice off his tie when his assistant manager and nutrition expert Jamie Oliver walks in singing a song;
- Date: Feb 12th 2013
- Time: 10.00
- Place: Reading Police Station
- Location: Interview Room 7
Reading Manager, Sporting ABG, enters the room sporting a worried smile and wearing pyjamas. He takes his seat at the table next to his new assistant manager and lawyer John McCrirrick. His eyes scan the room, sizing up todays opponents.
He remembered something his father once told him: “keep your friends close and your enema’s even closer”. SABG shook his head. There is nothing worse than having a father who was a doctor with a terrible sense of humour.
Let the games begin.
A cold and windy February afternoon in Reading. SABG and his assistant manager, Frodo Baggins, stand silently watching a training session.
FB: Looks like we’ll be getting a new Pope in March.
SABG: We are? Why the hell aren’t I informed about the new signings? Who does the Chairman think he is, Abramovich?
FB: No Boss. I mean the real Pope. He’s leaving his post at the end of this month.
SABG: Blimey. The economic crisis must be bad if even God is laying his staff off.
FB: No. He was resigning because he didn’t have the strength to go on.
SABG: It’s Monday son. We all feel like that.
Date: Jan 24th 2013
Location: Majesty…..Mad Jet Ski…..Reading Football Club
23rd Floor, Press Conference Room 39, (2nd door on the left just past the Gents toilet).
Reading Manager, Sporting ABG enters the room sporting a big smile and takes his seat at the press conference table next to his assistant manager and personal shopper Sylvie van der Vaart. His eyes unnoticeably survey the room, assessing the waiting melee of press and public and mentally preparing for absolutely anything. Nothing and no one was going to catch him off guard today.